You are definitely not pregnant!but possibly maybe?
Now, when you watch all these lovely pregnancy test adverts you get the idea that one day you will be sitting on your beautifully tiled bathroom floor with your excited partner next to you- possibly sipping on that perfectly made cup of tea, whilst waiting for that clear double line to appear! Excitement, joy and happiness; these were the feelings I definitely did not feel.
Instead, I was sitting on the toilet seat surrounded by finished loo rolls grabbing that glass of apple juice, when I suddenly realised that I had actually filled it with my precious urine a few seconds ago!
Despite the fact that my husband and I had made the decision to stop contraception when we were on our way to Disneyland (a deal we sealed with a good ol’ handshake), I was always convinced that conceiving would be very difficult if not impossible for me. Just to give you an idea, from the age of 14 I was lucky to get my period once a year and when it came I wanted to celebrate it for 2 weeks, with Macarenas and Cocktails- sadly it only ever lasted for 3 days tops- so off came the party hats. The more I worried the worse it got so the contraceptive pill seemed to be the only solution to regulate my body and cover up the fact that I might actually have a problem.
10 years, a country move and a lifestyle change later my body no longer agreed, so it was time to give it up.
Back to square one?
Although I had a very VERY long cycle ( The Lord of the rings trilogy- the extended version 48-60 days LONG)at least it was almost regular, so when I was 2 weeks over, I got super excited and invested in a £1.00 pregnancy test… it came back Negative.
3 weeks late-still no period.
I could sense the sweet light of hope rising inside of me again, maybe I just needed to get the right test? You know one of those hyper sensitive hormone ones, which detect your pregnancy even before you have conceived ( or something like that!)- again: Negative.
What the hell was going on? I felt that something was definitely happening- yet all the tests and most of my friends agreed that I am definitely NOT pregnant. I mean how could I be? I started consulting the internet and ventured into the world of “false negative pregnancy tests”. Could this be me? Could I possibly be one of the 5%? The only other people who thought I could indeed be pregnant were my husband ( he always told me about his super sperm- yeah right?), my dear childhood friend and a few expecting mothers I found in forums via google.com!
When I was almost 4 weeks late my bladder started to go wild, forcing me out of bed about 4-5 times at night.
Something had to be done and it was either a health screen for £280 or a pregnancy test multipack for £2.89. Considering that payday was still far away, I decided to go for the latter and there I was, sitting on the toilet with my pants pulled down- shaking in disbelief and confusion as I was holding that thin strip in my hand, that was telling me that my life would quite possibly change forever , “Oh my god- no way!”
You better believe it girl-Supersperm- alright!How about that glass of juice now?